X

Cancer, chemotherapy, a four-year relationship ended in tears, and two years of life's little bumps would be enough to make anybody miserable — or at least provide most singers with enough material for an album or six.

But not Kylie. Apart from 'No Rain' — with its William Orbit-style ambience and still optimistic lyrics ("Sun coming up on another day/ Got a second hand chance, gonna do it again") — the most difficult two years of her personal life have had little impact on her wilfully joyous tenth studio album. And even though Minogue has never been one for confessional lyrics ("I'm spinning around / Move out of my way" anyone?) or songs of self-despair, a lot of work has gone into making 'X' as lyrically vacant and playfully buoyant as possible.

As a triumphant celebration of her comeback, it starts off magnificently: the pounding 'Two Hearts' is as sexy as those gold hotpants, the cool electro of 'Like A Drug' is as addictive as the title suggests, and 'In My Arms' is quite simply perfect Scandinavian pop — like Madonna's 'Hung Up' without the Abba sample.

The good vibes continue on 'Speakerphone' — but so does the Swedish connection. And therein lies the biggest problem with 'X'. To her party Minogue has invited the kind of people dying to be the centre of attention — the type who drive your car into the swimming pool or, at the very least, start performing an impromptu striptease on the dining room table.

Here the most guilty are production/writing duo Bloodshy and Avant. Best known for Britney's 'Toxic', Christian Karlsson and Pontus Winnberg simply repeat the techniques used on Spears' recent 'Blackout' album — especially that vocal modulator effect — to transform 'Speakerphone' Kylie into a lifeless Barbie doll. They go even further on electro sleazegrinder 'Nu-Di-Ty', turning the singer into a bit player on her own album — a gatecrasher at her own bash.

He may be British, but Calvin Harris too gets a bit carried away on 'Heart Beat Rock', almost burying the pint-sized Aussie beneath big handclap beats and keyboard belches, while 'All I See' turns her into Jennifer Lopez singing a '90s Babyface R&B ballad. By the time she repeats "Can you hear me?", "Can you feel me?" on 'The One' — a fresh take on her 'I Should Be So Lucky' sound — the answer must be a resounding "no".

Guitar-powered 'Stars' and barely-there ballad 'Cosmic' return the singer to her rightful place — all eyes on her, jumping out of the cake — but they aren’t enough to prevent the guests from running off with the silverware.