Up until quite recently I was a big fan of Sting's music.

When I unwrapped 'If On a Winter's Night' I couldn't wait to listen to his version of one of my all-time favourites, 'The Hurdy-Gurdy Man', sang so beautifully by Donovan.

Alas, this is not the version we know and love — but yet another dark, sombre, depressing tune which typifies this entire collective celebration of melancholy.

If this strange album proves to be even moderately successful I will go and live for a whole winter in Eskimo-land — which will be less painful than listening to all 15 songs on this album in one go.

The warning lights should have started flickering when I saw the recording was made by Deutsche Grammophon. This is Sting's second disappointing foray into musical hinterland with this German classical recording label.

Finding a word to describe the kind of music on this album is almost impossible without reverting to the lavatorial, so let's just say it's far, far away from pop and will probably prove to be an even worse disaster than Sting's previous obscure, lute-dominated album with the same company.

The album cover says this collection was inspired by Sting's favourite season and I can well understand that for the music in this collection is as dreary, impersonal, dark and soulless as a European winter.

The market-speak blurb on the cover of this album also calls it 'an evocative collection of lullabies, carols and songs' but it doesn't mention that most of it is boringly dull, unknown, and in some instances, centuries old.

This is the time of year when 'The Best Of' and 'Golden Collection' and 'Christmas Favourites' are a dime a dozen and Sting should have stuck to this successful formula because even another rendition of 'Jingle Bells' would be preferable to the stuff on this album.

At least he could have cashed in on the soppy sentiment of the Festive Season and sold a few albums. Instead 'If on a Winter's Night' is destined to grow cobwebs on the shelves.

One thing's for sure, the fat, jolly guy with the white beard and funny red suit won't be filling his sleigh with many copies of this album for home deliveries this Christmas.