You are not your job. So Paul Blart is more than a mall cop — he's a bit of a loser too. And not just because of that Sarel van der Merwe moustache. Left by his wife, rejected by the police department, and unable even to land a date on a website of desperate singles, the schlub still lives with his mom.

And with no friends, no hobbies but riding his Segway, and no vices but food ("peanut butter just fills the cracks in the heart"), he has plenty of time to devise elaborate schemes for improving customer flow through the shopping centre. Which only makes him more of a laughing stock to his slacker security guard colleagues.

So when a gang of high-tech criminals take control of the mall, nobody (including Blart) believes that he can save the day — or even himself. But with his girl crush amongst the hostages, he fights off bouts of dizziness (thanks low blood sugar) to tackle the baddies — armed with little more than plasters and a stash of sweets.

It's no 'Die Hard'. For one, the air vents can't support him.

Instead, think 'Home Alone' with 'King Of Queens' Kevin James playing Macaulay Culkin. He's almost as annoying, blathering on about snacks and feeling sorry for himself, with James pushing the "likeable loser" schtick way too far into the psych ward.

But, from the title to the inevitable tumbling down stairs, there's nothing subtle about 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'. Which also means that, to his credit, the oversized star is surprisingly gung-ho when it comes to the physical comedy. As the heist begins and James' falling about becomes ever more elaborate, the film finally kicks into gear.

Just don't expect anything more than pretty average. Not unlike Blart himself.