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Today, 05 July 2009

> Lions roar in Johannesburg

> United States of Africa?

> Planet De Villiers

> 'ANC, IFP should unite'

> Incest monster in SA?

Yesterday, 04 July 2009

> IRB called in on Botha ban

> Lions roar in Johannesburg

> Rugby live scoring

> United States of Africa?

> The iafrica.com debate

A reader contacted me last week, demanding to know what I think of the Iraqi crisis. I suspect you were referring to comments I made about Bush in the column a while back. I guess the short answer is that sand and suntan lotion don’t mix well.

But to put the references to Bush in context, I was really just disappointed that a) he didn’t want to watch ‘Reservoir Dogs’ as a way of exorcising his latent aggression, and b) I couldn’t rely on him to pitch up, let alone bring the booze.

Seriously, though, this is a cult film column — and therefore nothing I say could make a difference. Jesus, if a group of frostbitten naked American women protesting against a war in the Gulf couldn’t do anything, what chance do I stand?

Truth is I don’t know if Bush and Blair are fighting for oil, or whether Hussein is in fact the Antichrist, leading the world down a track of crazy paving in order to divide and conquer. To be honest, from where I sit, we’re screwed either way.

Andrew's obsession with cult films began at midnight at the age of ten, and involved a bowl of popcorn, an old television set and John Carpenter's Halloween. Little has changed since then, besides age, the popcorn and the fact that he can now climb dark stairwells after a horror movie by himself. Andrew is a published writer of horror fiction, a screenwriter and a freelance journalist. His time is spent largely in pursuit of a truly original horror film. Failing that he has threatened to make his own.

I’d rather just refer you to Radiohead’s Thom Yorke — “I go forwards – you go backwards; somewhere we will meet”.

Now that I’ve resolved the Iraqi problem let’s move on. I don’t mean to sound glib, but come on, I like old movies, I wouldn’t know a chemical warhead from a rotating head on an electric toothbrush.

Still, with Iraq in mind and George Michael’s criticism of Blue’s attempts to fire up a Band-Aid type song against a US-led war in Iraq, I thought I’d look at global destruction on the big screen.

I had originally planned this column for last week, but an existential crisis got in the way. Hey, shit happens.

Speaking of Michael, his song ‘Shoot the dog’ — on Britain’s US foreign policy — is pretty much in the same vein as this week’s focus, ‘Dr Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb’.

Kubrick’s 1964 black comedy masterpiece is not only relevant to the current situation, but is in fact more relevant than many films made since. In fact Kubrick could be said to sum up the relationship between the US and Britain in the first few minutes of the film, in which two military planes indulge in a little flirtatious coupling, which quickly becomes a sexual encounter of mammoth proportions, to the orchestral strains of ‘Try a Little Tenderness’.

You may just see it as a mid-flight refuelling session, in which case I obviously have some kind of pseudo-sexual aviation fetish.

Aside from films like ‘Threads’, ‘When the Wind Blows’ and the simply superb ‘Last Night’, the end of the world has largely been devoid of any significant political meaning in cinema.

Few films come closer to accounting for the real political manoeuvring behind the big event than ‘Dr Strangelove’. There are exceptions, of course, like the underrated ‘Wag the Dog’. ‘Dr Strangelove’ perfectly captures the essence of the current military threat, distils it and sprays it more gleefully than any Edgar’s perfume clerk could ever hope to.

In the film (which is ironically black and white, given that nothing is near black and white) we see the bungling British military initially welcoming diplomatic intercourse with the US, only to discover their partner is a raving loon.

The US loses control of a commanding officer (who they’ve trained to be uncontrollable), who decides it might be a rather nifty idea to destroy Russia, to which end he deploys a fleet of nuclear laden fighters.

CULT DE S’ACADEMY AWARDS Please click here to have a look at the categories for the Cult de S’Academy Awards. I’ll add a few each week and then in three months I’ll announce the winners. The nominees and categories will come from past columns until I’ve caught up. Simply, have a look at the nominees, and email me with your favourites. If there are any you would like to add just send those as well. You have until the next column to vote. If any new nominees are added I’ll throw it out there again. Just click here.

So spirals the story in which attempts are made to stop the Russian Doomsday Machine from retaliating against the American threat.

Much of the action takes place in the war room (NOTE: No fighting is allowed in there) and Peter Sellers delivers much of the comic brilliance of the film.

The film does open with a blatant lie, however — “It should be noted that none of the characters portrayed in this film are meant to represent any real persons living or dead”.

Rubbish!

Simply substitute Merkin Muffley for Bush, Dr Strangelove for Hans Blix and Group Captain Mandrake for Blair and you have the rudiments of what’s probably going on in the UN Security Council as we speak.

‘Dr Strangelove’ was produced to make sense of the paranoia surrounding the cold war nuclear race and is eloquent and polished. It worked, which is why it’s disturbing to me that given an increase in awareness and the world shrinking quicker than a pair of satin boxer shorts in a tumble dryer, we have few films of recent times that even try to say the same thing.

Let’s face it, what did we learn about the US incursion into Somalia, with a machismo-disposable slice of disposable cinema like ‘Black Hawk Down’?

Perhaps the more we know the less we want to know, and that given the current global conflicts we’d rather all bury our heads in the sand.

That could go some way in establishing why a film like ‘Dr Strangelove’ still has few contemporaries able to say anything quite as incisive.

So, to get back to your question on how I feel about a war in Iraq…

Cult de Sac Edition 34 ‘Dr Strangelove’ is available from THE VIDEO SHOP - 13 North Park Centre, 7th Avenue, Parktown North - Tel: 011 788 8613. Email: tebaldi@mweb.co.za. With a vast range of titles, especially rare and classic films and knowledgeable staff, THE VIDEO SHOP has just what you’re looking for. THE VIDEO SHOP is Cult de Sac’s video outlet of choice.

Cult de Sac Parting Shot

Courtesy of a friend: “Bombing for peace is like f*%$#@! for virginity”.

Last Week's Cult de Sac Meaningless Trivia Question:

‘American Beauty’ has been described as a ‘Death of the Salesman’ for the nineties. Name one clue that could suggest such a comparison.

Answer: There are many debatable comparisons, but the most literal is the scene in which Carolyn talks about ‘the Lomans’ who moved out next door — Willy Loman.

This Week’s Meaningless Trivia Question:

Peter Sellers was originally cast to play the Texan bomber pilot. Aside from the fact that he couldn’t quite get the accent right, name another reason why he didn’t play the role.

Cult de Sac Avenues of Interest

Dr Strangelove: