After the sobbing phonecalls home, saying that she couldn’t eat or sleep, and her brief release due to undisclosed psychological problems, Paris is back in the slammer and now doing okay, apparently — though she has, of course, taken to remarking how this is really an act of God, who has generously stepped in to set her on the right path and turn her from lipgloss to charity work.

Ooh, that prison diary of hers is going to be quite the page-turner, isn’t it?

Said the indomitable Mother Hilon, Kathy, after she and dad Rick visited the incarcerated heiress: “It's tough in there. It's cold... She really hasn't had much sleep.” Hard times. Hard Times.

On to some rather stupid times...

Seems as if context is just too complex for the tabs, who’ve been excitedly proclaiming that Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber might have married in secret. But as pregnant ‘King Kong’ star Naomi made clear — they have not, in fact, tied the knot.

“No,” was her simple, but clear, answer on being asked if she and fellow actor Liev were married.

And how did this rumour start? Because Schreiber joked with reporters as the couple arrived at the Tony Awards, saying: “We are married. You got it first. Break the story!”

Humour, irony, tastelessness — all words the tabs might want to look up some time.

Watts has long been sporting her baby bump, but former ‘Friends’ and current ‘Dirt’ star Courteney Cox is only at the thinking stage when it comes to a second kid for her and husband David Arquette.

“I'm not really ready right this second,” admits Cox, “but I'll probably do it one more time. I used to want to have, like, eight kids. It was such a fantasy when I was younger because my mother, who was an only child, had four kids. Now, looking back, I don't understand how she did it.”

Supermodel Eva Herzigova has just had her first little bundle of joy. She and her partner, businessman Gregorio Marsiaj, recently welcomed George Marsiaj Hervig into the world — they clearly didn’t spend long coming up with names for the wee one.

According to a rep for Eva’s modelling agency: “The whole family are well. Eva is delighted, and they will all be leaving on a holiday together shortly.”

TRIXY HONORÉ

(pronounced On-or-ay) is a lover of celeb gossip and based in Cape Town — though she prefers to live out the winter months on the Riviera. Trixy is dedicated to extracting what substance she can from the world of style, while never forgetting the vital importance of trivia, and an elegant pair of gloves, in the well-rounded life. Elvis, charming manners, nice shoes and a good haircut are on her list of life’s essentials.

Got something to say about Bitch and Famous? Email her!

Of course! The first thing everyone should do right after giving birth is to go away on holiday. Provided they have a nanny, and a luxurious private escape to go to, and money to fly relatives over to see the baby...

Christian Bale is rather older than little George, but he’ll also be wearing an all-in-one suit soon. The trouble is that it’s the Bat suit, and it’s not ideally suited to the shooting location for the ‘Batman Begins’ sequel, ‘The Dark Knight’.

“I'm not really looking forward to wearing a black rubber suit in the summertime in humid Chicago,” remarks Bale. “If you see a pool of sweat through the city, follow it and you will find me.”

Bale may be a little unhappy, but ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ star Isaiah Washington is wild with fury!

That’s because he’s been axed from ‘Grey’s — no doubt as a result of his recent homophobic remark towards co-star TR Knight (which he then repeated at the Golden Globes — claiming he hadn’t said it originally!) and generally arrogant behaviour. And, making no break from his fast-growing tradition of acting like a teen, rather than a seasoned TV star, he’s actually released a statement saying: “I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore.”
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