Perhaps Dina could get together and swap some notes with Britney Spears' mum Lynne. The Spears' matriarch is currently hard at work 'writing' a book with actual writer Lorilee Craker. This book, Craker, informs us, is "the truth, but it's based in love". It's that loving intention behind it that makes all the moral difference in the world. Without that, coining it off your own kid's heartbreaking personal problems by exposing her already over-whelmingly scrutinised life even further would just be tacky and disloyal.

Luckily, Craker can also assure us that, "Lynne, first of all, is a wonderful person. She is one of the kindest, most decent people, and very down-to-earth. People would be amazed at how normal she is, but she's living in this sort of surreal life at the same time."

"One thing I do want to make clear is that she's not a stage mom. People are so accusatory toward her and so judgmental of her, and it just drives me crazy because I know the real her."

This maternal paragon will be releasing 'Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World' on Mother's Day next year.

Just as I have every faith that this book will do a great deal to lessen tabloid focus on Lynne's young daughter, so too am I confident that the paparazzi will very soon realise that they are making celebs' lives practically unlivable, and start to show some basic human feeling. Ja, I am, of course, joking.

More likely, the paps are going to continue to doggedly pursue the stars until their insanely intrusive and dangerous behavior lands up killing someone. Oh, wait — Princess Diana died in 1997, trying to escape the chasing snappers — and nothing happened.

Sure, Orlando Bloom must be relieved that he's not going to be charged for crashing into a stationary vehicle recently — but I'll bet he'd rather he hadn't got into that situation while fleeing photographers in the first place. And, I'll bet that the friend who was with him and landed up with a fractured neck is even less thrilled.

There have been numerous paparazzi-related crashes and near-misses recently – and one of the very latest involved our favourite heiress, Paris Hilton, whose Cadillac just got clipped by a snapper's car.

Says Paris' driver to TMZ.com: "The car is backing up into me, in reverse, as my client is getting out of the car. Basically it was either me risking hurting my client [by trying to drive out of the way], which I wasn't willing to do, of course, or taking the hit. So we took the hit."

Now it's your turn to brace yourselves, gentle readers.

Terrible news — Hilton won't be visiting our dear continent of Africa in November, as planned. Although Americans love to refer to 'Africa' as if it was this one big glob-like country, it's actually kind of enormous and broken up into these different countries, you know? So, true, Paris wouldn't have been anywhere near SA — seeing as she was supposed to go to Rwanda — but still, I think you'll agree with me that it would still have been too close.

Luckily, you all got a reprieve, due to internal reshuffling in the charitable foundation she was scheduled to be there supporting (oh, and she was going to be shooting some footage for a new reality show while she was there).

"Due to the restructuring of the Playing For Good Foundation, the philanthropic trip to Rwanda that the foundation had previously planned with Paris Hilton has been postponed," says an organistional rep.

"Paris has been a loyal and gracious supporter of Playing For Good but the foundation has to regrettably reschedule this trip. Playing For Good would like to thank Ms. Hilton for her generosity and her continued support of this initiative and is looking forward to rescheduling the trip with her at a later time." Someone's calling Paris 'loyal' and 'gracious' — I'm sticking my head out the window to check for flying pigs.

More animal madness and celebrity sanity — in next week's Bitch and Famous!
Page: 2 of 2 - back