It's true, heartbreak hotel heiress Nicky Hilton has just split up with her man Kevin Connolly. Wait, you ask ? isn't he a Scottish comic three times her age? Well, that's what I briefly thought, until I realised that I was thinking of Billy Connolly, who is happily married to a woman a billion times smarter than any Hilton.

(Kevin is a star of the US's HBO series about a young Hollywood starlet and his posse ? called 'Entourage'.)

You can understand my confusion, though, because ? let's be frank ? who even knew that Nicky was dating anyone? The talk about their split is all very sad, with Nicky having given Kevin the heave after he reportedly cheated on her, but to my mind the real point here seems to be that Nicky isn't even a fraction as newsworthy as her sister Paris.

I mean, the littler Hilton sister had been dating this guy for almost two years! (since the annulment of her brief marriage to her financial manager after a crazy Vegas wedding). But, honestly, this was the first time it even registered in my mind. Clearly Nicky needs to dumb down a bit (more) and find some minor semi-celeb with a video camera...

If that split flew under the radar, then this one just kind of exploded in the face of the radar!

I'm talking, of course, of Petra Nemcova ? the gorgeous supermodel ? allegedly getting cheated on (repeatedly!) by boyfriend... James Blunt. They had a blazing row about it at London Fashion Week and she kicked him out of her life. Apparently, though, he's trying to get back with her. (Don't crack, Petra!)

Evidently James is not only the whingiest, most dismal singer to publicly assault our ears in the last hundred years (very possibly more), but also a heartless idiot.

Now whoever's responsible for this plan to remake that Alfred Hitchcock great 'The Birds' may well not be heartless, but they are in some danger of looking like an idiot if they get it wrong.

TRIXY HONORE
(pronounced On-or-ay) is a lover of celeb gossip and based in Cape Town ? though she prefers to live out the winter months on the Riviera. Trixy is dedicated to extracting what substance she can from the world of style, while never forgetting the vital importance of trivia, and an elegant pair of gloves, in the well-rounded life. Elvis, charming manners, nice shoes and a good haircut are on her list of life?s essentials.

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Naomi Watts is tipped to get the lead role of Melanie Daniels in this classic Hitchcock horror film about, well, evil birds trying to get us. It may land up being really good ? but there's a part of me that can't help getting the grils at the thought of anyone tampering with that legendary director's work.

And, while Naomi is set for more box-office domination, Scarlett Johansson is getting ready to take over the airwaves with her upcoming album: 'Scarlett Sings Tom Waits'. Once again, this might turn out well, but surely it's a big gamble for a first album, when everyone's going to be judging your starlet-turned-singer efforts really harshly?

And, more importantly ? while I applaud her taste ? I don't think I could forgive her if she mangled Waits.

Word is that the release of the album will be scheduled to fit into Johansson's movie timetable. Read: scheduled to tie in with her next big flick ? cross-promotional bonanza ahead!

On to weightier matters, like the impending nuptials of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty... I have to wonder what Jefferson Hack ? the seemingly quite responsible father of Kate's daughter Lila Grace ? thinks about this threatened union. Though, judging from her packed social calendar and constant jet-hopping she doesn't really spend all that much time parenting poor Lila, so how much of a bad influence could she and her future hubby be?

But, maybe I?m being too harsh. It seems Kate has laid down a strict new regime for her lad ? perhaps in hope of getting him at least marginally dad-worthy? I shudder at the thought.