“It was everything that we wanted. You hear about it and you experience it. It was spiritual; it was powerful; it was indescribable. What words can you use? It's still something I'm processing and reliving,” gushed Cruise.

Is there any experience that isn’t totally intense and utterly incredible with this man? I’m beginning to think nothing ordinary ever happens to him — “I walked out to my car, and the look of the car beneath my feet was so amazing. I just felt so connected to that parking lot…”

And, if you think Nicole Kidman’s been playing ice queen to Tom’s raving loon — think again. She offered her heartfelt congrats through, um, a statement released by her publicist. “I hope both mother and baby are doing well,” it read. No mention of the dad, though.

Perhaps that’s because of a recent spat between Nic and Tom. Word is that the ex-spouses fell out over whether their kids Connor (11) and Isabella (13) should be present while Katie gave birth. Nicole said it would traumatise them and forbade it, but Tom was dead set in favour, reportedly. I’m with Kidman on this one (and probably every other one too) — that’s something those kids did not need to see!

TRIXY HONORÉ

(pronounced On-or-ay) is a lover of celeb gossip and based in Cape Town — though she prefers to live out the winter months on the Riviera. Trixy is dedicated to extracting what substance she can from the world of style, while never forgetting the vital importance of trivia, and an elegant pair of gloves, in the well-rounded life. Elvis, charming manners, nice shoes and a good haircut are on her list of life’s essentials.

Got something to say about Bitch and Famous? Email her!

Speaking of siblings though — there seems to be some forbidden love going on between ‘Lost’ stars Maggie Grace and Ian Somerhalder. But, rest easy, they’re only playing brother and sister on the hit show. Off camera they aren’t related — but they are getting cosy all around LA, according to reports.

No cosying for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, though, apparently. Britters was conspicuously absent from Kev’s big gig for his new album at Pure — a nightclub in Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas. He treated the lucky, lucky audience to two of his soon-to-be smash hits ‘America’s Most Hated’ and ‘Rockstar’ (one so accurate, the other so wrong). How could Brit have missed it?

Well, by all accounts, she was busy sobbing in their hotel room. The couple are said to have been spotted having a big row in classy Caesar’s restaurant Nero — after which Spears fled, crying.

But, who needs their wife, when they’ve got Paris and Nicky Hilton’s mother Kathy to host their show? And, yes, if you’re wondering, the star-power at this exclusive gathering did sink even lower than the aging socialite and her hubby Rick Hilton. The only other ‘celeb’ reported to have attended was a supporting cast member from former sitcom ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’.

Yup, Kevin is already scraping the bottom of the barrel normally reserved for people who were really famous forty years ago and are desperately trying to hold on rather than bowing out gracefully.

While I’m on the subject of grace, naturally I’ll be saying a few words about the lovely Mariah Carey. What a super lady she is. Apart from her awful singing. And her awful songs. And her awfully, tight ’80s dresses. And her awful personality. Otherwise, she’s great — even greater now that she’s sold her soul to Pepsi for who knows how many millions.
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