So, no, I have no sympathy for Joost. Callousness and rank stupidity don't sit high of my list of admirable qualities. But, I have to say, it's not as if this came as an enormous shock.

When a guy leaves his wife to marry you, you have to stop a second and wonder ? is it just vaguely possible that this man's a tool? The answer's almost always yes.

On the subject of tools... Heidi Klum is not on my list of awesome, either.

At least she's not quite going straight from the maternity ward onto the lingerie runway this time. But just about.

After having her last child she was modelling tiny bra and pantie sets just two months later.

That, my friends, is not an amazing achievement, but the kind of stupid decision that sets a ghastly example for all the women who land up reading the 101 glowing magazine cover features about her birth-to-nearly-nude-in-front-of-millions weight-loss 'secrets'.

(The secret is loads of money for personal training, eating hardly anything, and having about as much sense as a pile of logs.)

Now, post-baby number four, Heidi will merely be hosting the next Victoria's Secret annual runway show.

Not that this means she'll be looking anything like someone who's just given birth. "The last time, I had two months, and I don't know if I have that much time this time," say Klum. "It was pushing it the last time. But if I don't make it, I'm sure I'll be very sad."

That level of dumb almost makes Elizabeth Hurley's threat to venture back onto the big screen seem like a savvy idea.

I love Liz. I've always had a soft spot for Hugh Grant's former long-time partner and star of the Austin Powers movies. But, let's just say that Hurley is to acting what a ball of lead travelling at high velocity is to a plate glass window.

Also, she promised she wasn't going to do that to us any more.

"I said no," admits Liz, about accepting new film roles. "When I had my son I said no because I wanted to be in the country with him full time; but, now, maybe I might do another movie next year. My son wants me to very much."

Your son is, however, seven years old. That's the kind of age at which you think 'Air Wolf' is a clever idea.