The celebrity baby deluge finally looks to be letting up. Jessica Alba has ensured the continuation of her line (sob), Nicole Kidman's had her baby, Sunday Rose, and gone the amazingly tasteful route of not selling pics of her tiny daughter for millions, and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are the proud owners of a pair of brand new twins with relatively normal names (Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline).

But let's not forget that the lovely Minnie Driver is yet to have her little one. So, she's not quite in sync with the celebrity baby boom ? and, what's more, she's even planning to violate one of the stars' most sacred post-pregnancy commandments: thou shalt lose all thy baby weight (and, hey, why not get even skinnier that you were pre-pregnancy?) within three months, at most.

"That's unhealthy and horrifying to me," says Driver of the out-of-hospital-onto-the-treadmill trend. "Plan on seeing me fat, walking around Malibu, proud of it."

I hope Minnie's not planning to read any of the tabloids for a while. If there's anything they like more than 'Stars without make-up!', it's 'Stars with fat thighs!'. Remember, we buy movie tickets and rent DVDs ? we're paying you to starve yourself, damn it!

Katie Holmes doesn't seem to be showing any signs of getting remotely pudgy, but she's still not entirely happy with her body ? though she is trying to be.

"I try to embrace my imperfections. But I will forever wage the battle of the thighs! So I prefer not to show them off," says Katie of legs that I'm reasonably sure many women would commit violence to have themselves.

Her other Hollywood body challenge? "I am pretty tall," says Holmes of her gargantuan 1.75m (5'9") frame. Usually most actresses are tiny and I'm not ? I'm a big one."

Wow ? if 5'9" is big, then I'm like... King Kong.

Back to the celeb spawners ? more particularly, the cerebrally challenged Jessica Alba. While I'm feverishly hoping that Jess is about to announce that she's taking a few decades off to 'be with her family', Alba is occupying herself with giving interviews about her one-month-old to the US's Ok! magazine.

"She looks like a girl version of me," says Jessica of little Honor, who apparently doesn't remotely resemble daddy Cash Warren. "She has my nose, my eyebrows and my forehead, dimples. She has my mouth when I was a baby and my ears" ? in a jar!

But enough of that cooing fool and her facial-feature-hording progeny, and on to someone far more worthwhile ? a girl who's in the news purely for being the daughter of two famous people. Well, that, and the fact that the tabs have taken to mocking her prominent chin. Seriously.

Thankfully, teenaged Rumer Willis ? offspring of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis ? is favouring a smart retort over a visit to mummy's plastic surgeon.