In Grade 4 he wanted to be a doctor. In Grade 11 a civil engineer. After Matric he studied at Pretoria Tech towards a career in electrical engineering, but got bored and went to UCT to be an actor instead.

And since 1998 he's carved out a career as one of South Africa's top standup comedians. Now nominated in the Star Comedian category for the Stars of Mzansi Awards, he speaks about recently tying the knot, his new DVD 'I Did These Jokes First' and why 'The Pure Monate Show' won't be coming back.

Brown Shuga: Congratulations on your recent marriage. Were you wearing your signature hat at the wedding?

David Kau: No I wasn't wearing a hat, I didn't make time to have one made or get one that would have matched my suit.

BS: I want to know, what makes a young black man like you decide to get married?

David: Being in love with the woman that I'm with now and knowing that being with her makes me feel like not meeting anymore women other than friends or business associates.

BS: Did you have to pay lobola?

David: I wanted to pay lobola but my wife's dad is Greek and it's not his culture so he didn't allow me to pay lobola.

BS: Lucky you! Your wedding was broadcast on 'Top Billing', which confirms that you're an 'A List' celebrity. How did that come about?

David: I met one of the producers when 'Top Billing' took me to Croatia and they mentioned they would be interested in filming my wedding. I don't know if that makes me 'A list' because I'm not quite sure what makes people 'A list' in South Africa.

BS: So David help us out, so many of my girlfriends have trouble "getting and keeping" a black man. What's your advice to them? I'm serious.

David: I think most women, not just black women — and some men — always think that there's more out there, and there's something better. Curiosity more than anything is what causes people to break up and date more people. I think once you're with someone and you're ready to put them first in your life without them asking you, it's time to start thinking how you can help them become a better person rather thinking you want to meet someone else that's better than them. It's not about being black or white but because our experiences have been with black people, most people would think it's about race.

BS: OK, on to your work. In 2007 you released your DVD, 'I Did These Jokes First'. How did it do in terms of sales?

David: So far it's sold over 10 000 copies and I haven't even marketed it yet. I should be having one of those dodgy promos on TV soon. I've paid for one already, I just got too busy with my wedding and being a bit lazy.

BS: That's cool. Looking at the DVD now, is there something about it or on it that you wish you had done differently?

David: I should have sold it for R129 instead of R100 at retail.

BS: Hahahaha! On the DVD there is a part where you joke about Indians and then repeatedly go "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Do you worry about offending your audience when you are on stage?

David: Not really but sometimes when some people are a minority in the audience you want to make them feel more comfortable. It's not always Indian people. I do the same if there's kids in the audience. Regardless, I always aim not to offend but to make fun of someone, that's why I can tell my jokes about whoever even if they are in the audience.

BS: Did you apologise to Babalwa Mneno about that Bafana Bafana joke on live TV when you said that she enjoys sex with foreigners?
(» Read the news report)

David: I apologised to her about what the Sowetan and Penny Lebyane (on her show) lied about me having said in that joke, not for the joke. The bullshit the Sowetan wrote is embarrassing not just for them but for black journalism as well. The thing I like about it is it's on film because I said it on TV. There'll always be problems when you take a joke out of its context and tell it somewhere else other than to people who that joke was for. I don't even write my jokes down so you can imagine when some journo does that.

BS: Don't you think it was offensive to say that though?

David: That's up to the audience to decide.

BS: And why, on the DVD, do you laugh at your own jokes so much?

David: It's not about laughing at the jokes, it's a feeling that I can't explain. You just have to be there with me in that moment.

BS: Can your fans expect another DVD this year?

David: I'm not going to rush it, only if I have material funnier than my DVD now. Also I'm not done selling the current one. My long term plan with the current one is to sell 100 000 copies. I want it to be like Tupperware to black people — every family must have one or want to borrow it from next door. If I do a DVD this year it will be comedy sketches not stand up... unless a miracle happens.

BS: Do you think South Africa is warming up to the stand up comedy phenomenon or do we still have a long way to go?

David: It's happening city by city... there's still space for massive growth.

BS: And how do you come up with the jokes, David?

David: Most of the time I wait for a joke to come to my mind. I don't sit down and decide I'm going to write jokes.

BS: So if you don't write them down, how do you prepare for a show then?

David: Sometimes I listen to my other shows on my iPod. Most of the time I do nothing — I'm worried about ticket sales, there's people who want to talk to me about shit. I never really have time. Maybe in the future I'll start telling people I don't want anyone talking to me before shows, looking me in the eye, kicking people out of my changing room — for now I just go on stage and try to remember as many jokes as possible.

BS: And will there be a 'Blacks Only Comedy' DVD coming up anytime soon?

David: Maybe that'll be the stand up comedy DVD I do this year. I have filmed most of them so if the other comedians want to be in the DVD and we can agree on the terms then there'll be a 'Blacks Only' DVD this year.

BS: Just remember who came up with the idea né? I attended your 2006 Annual Christmas Party in Kroonstad, it was mad fun but I hear the 2007 one was even hotter. How did that idea come about?

David: They get hotter and hottest every year — it started at my mom's house with me and some friends, my sister and her friends. I paid for the DJ and some meat and people came with their own booze and their crew. It got bigger and biggest! After three years it got too big for my mom's place so I moved it to that guest house. It still costs me money because there are no sponsors at the moment but for me it's always been about having fun with friends, family and fans — three F's.

BS: Nice, I actually didn't think there'd be a party in 2007 because of your wedding. Was there no honeymoon?

David: This was the sixth year so I would have been stupid to not have one — it's a brand and it's becoming a business, so my wife understands. Our ideal honeymoon is to go to Greece but their summer is only after July. For now our house and DVD collection is our honeymoon.

BS: So do you pay the artists that perform at your party?

David: Most of the artists are my friends so I just pay their accommodation, travel, food and drinks. All the DJ's get paid though. That's why I didn't have performances this last Christmas because I couldn't ask my friends to perform for free again. I will wait until I have a sponsor. I had five DJ's though — Sfate, Jawz, Choice, Milkshake, and the Naked DJ.

BS: What do you think makes the parties so successful though, because everybody who's in the Welkom area seems to go to your party?

David: Because people come there to enjoy themselves and everybody is welcome, it doesn't matter who you are, where you from, what you look like — there's none of that bullshit that comes with partying everywhere else.

BS: Are there any initiatives that you are involved in back home?

David: I have a Charity foundation: The 111Kau Foundation. I try and help my old primary school and I help put some kids through high school. I also help out with a Home for abandoned kids and a day care centre near Centurion.

BS: What can your fans look foward to in 2008?

David: October will be 10 years since I became a comedian, and I'm turning 30 in April, so you can look forward to shitloads! And one or two surprises.

BS: Surprises like maybe 'Pure Monate Show' coming back?

David: I don't think so!

BS: Why not?

David: You'll have to ask SABC commissioning editors and programme manager and general manager. They make the decisions what shows are on TV.

BS: A while ago, I heard about some straight to DVD movie you were working on, what happened to that idea?

David: I've been struggling to raise the money to make it but the idea is still there with a million others, but I'm getting closer to making it.

BS: What do you do for fun, besides make friends on Facebook, of course!

David: I hang out with my close friends and my wife — braais at our house, half price movies on Tuesdays (if I don't have gigs), and we watch TV a lot.

BS: And your favourite TV Show?

David: 'Entourage' — if I have to name just one.

BS: So why are you on Facebook?

David: A friend of mine Kaone kept on bugging me about it. I was curious but now I'm bored with it. I'm enjoying chatting to my fans though.

BS: Your thoughts on people who actually hook up on FB?

David: They're very brave!

BS: You meet your soulmate at the strangest of places man! So what do you think of those Status Updates?

David: I think people take that shit too serious.

BS: The Stars of Mzansi Awards, what do you think of them?

David: I think there should be prize money for each of the categories, instead of one big prize because you can't compare all those categories. It's great that all the awards winners will be decided by the public, though.

BS: And why should we vote for you in the Star Comedian category?

David: I think people should vote for who they think is the funniest of all those comedians, and who has made and contributed positively in changing the comedy industry.

BS: Mmm... acting like you don't want the million! We know you want it!

» Check out www.starsofmzansi.com for more information on the awards, nominees and how to vote for your favourite celebrity.