Most super hero

Not much of a fight this, really. With director Bryan Singer jumping ship from the 'X-Men' franchise, 'The Last Stand' was a bland trotting out of special effects and badly marshalled mass battles. Unsurprisingly Singer took the excitement, depth and visual flair across to the oft-delayed 'Superman Returns', which effectively shattered any memories you may have had of Christopher Reeve carrying polystyrene mountains in the '80s.

Visually vibrant but very verbose 'V for Vendetta' didn’t stand much chance against such opposition.

Most ridiculous sequel since 'Police Academy 6: Mission to Moscow'

Bunging together an arbitrary whodunnit with the character from Sharon Stone's only successful movie could have worked. But nothing could save 'Basic Instinct 2' from Stone's attempts to sound sexy by saying everything with a throaty whisper; the flaccid psychiatrist love interest; the implausible plot turns; the laughable dialogue; and the impotent climax of seeing Stone's lopsided boobs from afar. Comedy of the year.

Most frightening

Certainly not the 'Grudge 2' (A tired rehash that does little more than cash in on its predecessor’s name. Horror — of the intentional variety — is almost an afterthought), but Al Gore's global warming documentary 'Inconvenient Truth'.

Offering "a damning indictment of where humanity is headed if it continues on its path of self-destruction, it also gives hope for the possibility of change. Hope that humanity is capable of acting on the moral imperative to stop destroying the earth," said our reviewer.

Blackest humour

'The Insider' with Al Pacino and Russell Crowe took a serious look at the tobacco industry. 'Thank You For Smoking' is more satirical — not no less damning.

"Working from the novel by Christopher Buckley, first-time director Jason Reitman takes a look at big tobacco corporations and their bid to stay on top by discrediting scientific proof that smoking is bad for you," said our reviewer.

"But 'Thank You For Smoking' is much more than a quip at Big Tobacco or corporate America. It's a movie which engages the viewer with its quick wit and cheeky one-liners no one dares to say because of the clinically PC world we live in today."

Most desperate for an Oscar nod

Starring South Africa's own Embeth Davidtz, little American indie movie 'Junebug' tries incredibly hard — but achieves incredibly little. A city slicker art dealer visits her husband's family in a nowhere town in nowhere America, meeting various eccentric characters.

Arty types may wax lyrical about the "slice of life" brilliance, but most will find the lingering shots of empty rooms and the assortment of unsympathetic characters to be little more than boring and pretentious. Only Amy Adams, as the eager to please sister in law, provides any relief, deservedly getting the wannabe Jim Jarmusch movie its only Oscar nomination.

Most like 'Sideways'

"Every once in a while you’ll watch a film that is so simple in its concept, and so breathtaking in its execution that you wonder why it hadn’t been made years ago," asked our reviewer of 'Little Miss Sunshine'.

"It may not draw superlatives, but this low-budget road trip movie has all the makings of an indie hit." Like last year's 'Sideways'.

"A dysfunctional family, a beauty pageant for eight-year-olds and 1500 mile roadtrip in a crotchety old volksie bus — all the right ingredients for a gem of a film. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to go back and see it again."

Biggest waste of your money

Films like 'The Cave' (monster horror in, yes, a cave), 'When A Stranger Calls' (heavy-breathing stalker), 'The Covenant' ('Charmed', with boys) and 'Stay Alive' (die in a computer game, die in real life…) will have you wishing you'd just set your R30 alight and watched it burn. But none compare to 'Ultraviolet', a pile of futuristic action sci-fi drivel that makes 'Battlefield Earth' and 'Aeon Flux' look like masterpieces.

"One might say that 'Ultraviolet' is a mess from beginning to end, but that would assume that there is a beginning and an end, which there isn’t really. It meanders along, never really knowing what it’s doing, why it’s there or where it's going — much like star Milla Jovovich herself."

Least boring documentary

Forget about Brangelina and TomKat, 2006 was the year of the penguin. 'Happy Feet' is trampling all over 'Casino Royale' at the global box office. And earlier this year, a little documentary about the wingless birds even managed to get people who usually watch Leon Schuster films to march into Cinema Nouveau. They didn’t even seem to care it was French. Critics argued that it anthropomorphised the penguins ("made them seem human", if you're a 'Mr Bones' fan), but who cares — 'March of the Penguins' is beautifully filmed, moving and nothing at all like the nature documentaries they made you watch at school.

Biggest underachiever

Team up the writer and director of 'Gladiator' and you're guaranteed to have another hit, right? Wrong. Despite the combined talents of Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott, 'A Good Year', about a ruthless investment banker who inherits a Provence vineyard, isn't their finest vintage.

It’s pretty obvious that both the director and his star are working incredibly hard to make their movie seem as effortless as the Peter Mayle book on which it’s based. But try as they might, neither Crowe’s overly casual broker turned romantic nor Scott’s attempts at staging comic pratfalls are convincing enough to create the sweet, innocent little film this could have been.

Most convoluted

Darren Aronofsky's 'The Fountain' hasn’t hit local screens yet, so it's got to be 'Syriana', from the writer of 'Traffic'...

The primary thread is the story of CIA operative "John" (George Clooney) who is sent back into Lebanon on a mission to assassinate one of the heirs to the Emirate throne. Running parallel to this story of political treachery, which involves oil companies, double-crossing and more characters than you remember, is the lesser publicised story of a disenfranchised Pakistani teenager.

But, despite the intricacy (read: confusion) of the plot, our reviewer said: "'Syriana' is a bit like a Mohammed Ali boxing match: lots of fancy footwork and feint punches for a long time before the real action — no less rapid and lethal — really starts to fly.

"And if you've got the will (and the faith) to sit through the dance… then the final bout is well worth it."

Most fun

'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' offers more than its predecessor: more action, more fun and more of Captain Jack. Where else would you see Johnny Depp escape a cannibal island where he was on the menu — first as a spit roast, then as a kebab. Or survive a three-way sword fight over beach and through jungle, culminating inside a mill’s runaway waterwheel. Or square off with the squid-faced Davey Jones — of the locker fame — narrowly avoiding the rest of eternity as one of Jones’ perpetually suffering crewmen.

And, once again, as the hapless Depp keeps the laughs and mishaps coming, the writers get away with all sorts of nonsense that makes 'Pirates 2' the most entertaining popcorn movie since Indiana Jones hung up his whip and fedora.
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