So many celebs, so much potential Christmas hype… Will Britney spend the day with her kids? Will Miley Cyrus make it onto the cover of the Playboy Christmas edition? Will Brangelina get each other a new kid for Christmas?

Do we care? Nah. Not really.

But, it's Christmas and we're in a giving mood. Yes, getting with all that good cheer, we've decided to dish out some celebrity Christmas presents. You know, those of the priceless figurative variety, generally found in the store of common sense — the only shop as yet unvisited by the celebrity shopaholic.

Madonna — a New York Yankees baseball cap. Sure, she probably has a few already, but nothing says "we're just friends and our recent house-hunting expedition has nothing to do with the divorces instigated by either myself or Alex Rodriguez" better than a cap. Casual and sporty, it also works well with a leotard and a pair of fishnets.

Naomi Campbell — a 'get out of jail free' card, an anger management course and a lifetime supply of Virgin flight tickets. Call us generous, but we feel sorry for the supermodel. Seriously, who hasn't been so fed up with the service on a British Airways flight that they attacked the staff and assaulted airport police in a fit of rage? There were no phones involved in this fracas, which is a clear indication that the ten previous court-mandated anger-management courses are paying off.

Amy Winehouse — new lungs, a new heart, a new liver, new kidneys and a new hairstyle. Oh yes, and a new husband.

Miley Cyrus — Britney's autobiography, some clothes and one of the Jonas Brothers' promise rings. The latest young star to be afflicted with missing-clothing-syndrome, the Disney starlet would do well to not be caught with her pants down.

OJ Simpson — a standard-issue prison outfit. Ah no, wait, he's already got one of those…

Brangelina — a small country, preferably somewhere between France, Ethiopia and Cambodia, where the power-couple can set up the headquarters of their mini-United Nations. Failing that: a nanny.

Ronnie Wood — a mirror. There is nothing attractive about a 61-year-old drug-addled ex-rocker ditching his wife and hooking up with a 20-year-old Russian model. Even if said rocker is a Rolling Stone.

Anne Hathaway — a papal pardon. Okay, so perhaps the star of 'The Devil Wears Prada' was unaware of her dodgy boyfriend Raffaello Follieri's religious (and legal) transgressions, but no one wants to find out first-hand which designer the devil really favours.

Nicole Kidman, Ashlee Simpson and Gwen Stefani — a book of baby names. Sunday is a day of the week; Mowgli belongs in the jungle; and Zuma is already taken.

Who have we overlooked? Britney, Lindsay Lohan, Sienna Miller? Dish out your own celeb prezzies below…